It’s hand-drawn, just mocking GenAI pics.

Though AI pics sometimes still have trouble with text.

EGGS

That sounds like Gr*ek talk!

Explanation: A rare bit of OC from me modifying the “Just as the Founding Fathers intended” copypasta.

“Mehercules” is “By Hercules!”, a common Roman exclamation. A gladius is a Roman shortsword, made for stabbing, but as incidents against Greek troops demonstrate, also very capable of lopping off limbs with hacks and slashes. A pilum is a javelin. “Ubi mel, ibi apes” means “Where there’s honey, there’s bees!” A scorpio is a small artillery piece generally used for firing bolts, but sometimes used for specialist ammunition like pots filled with flammable material. Vigiles were Roman town watch/firefighters, and in the city of Rome itself, they actually did maintain some catapults for the purpose of quickly demolishing burning buildings in especially fire-prone areas. Better to lose one building than the whole block! A pugio is a Roman military dagger.

“Conscript Fathers” is another name for the Roman Senate, as the idea was that the Senate was comprised of men who were elderly (and thus the fathers in their household) and regardless of whether or not they willed it. In theory. In practice, becoming a Senator was pretty highly desired, but the Romans did love their false modesty regarding power. “No, no, I couldn’t POSSIBLY accept a position of authority… unless… you were to insist… 👉👈🥺”

We got Death Star!

We got Death Star!

[Wilhelm Scream]

The only thing that can stop a bad Jedi with a laser sword is a good Jedi with a laser sword

[checks my profile pic]

Government assistance. Luckily I live in a blue state, so getting several major bills subsidized for being a filthy poor helps me eat regularly and not worry too much about turning the heat above 50 in the winter.

Me, a Classics enjoyer, immediately suspecting someone of fascism when they have a Graeco-Roman bust pfp:

Clearly he respects the democratic process o7

Funny enough, GTA4 was the one I played the most, in part because Niko felt less like a legitimately bad person and more like just a very damaged man. I went out of my way to avoid headshots because I knew I could shoot limbs and the enemies would go down, while Niko would acknowledge it, saying things like “I don’t want to shoot you again, stay down!”

“You’re divorced??”

“Not yet.”

Someplace in the Anglosphere. I don’t think I have it in me to learn a new language just to get by in day-to-day life. New Zealand, maybe.

Unfortunately, my immensely low income and numerous medical issues means that I’m not much of a candidate for emigration.

Also, ideally, a region without a lot of insects.

In any case, though, I’m probably going to die here, stubbornly. If these fascist fucks want me dead bad enough to see it through, I’m at least going to inconvenience them with getting rid of my body.

The top three are Shoestring, Curly, and Wedges, though not necessarily in that order. I still have not managed to figure out how the fuck restaurants make their shoestring (and steak) fries so fucking good.

Next are waffle fries and onion rings. They’re okay.

Sweet Potato fries and tots after that. Just not my thing.

Whoever likes zigzag/crinkle-cut fries is a monster. May god have mercy on their twisted souls.

The secret winner though is zucchini fries, which are mana from the heavens.

See, now THIS is inaccurate.

Relaxation hadn’t been invented at the time

She can make me worse dead

Just a joke about how content creation is sometimes seen as juvenile, especially for men.

Definitely mugging for the audience

Where there’s a whip, there’s a way!